Writing to request
Right now I'm working on two different fic projects, gifts for my winning bidders in the Fandom Trumps Hate auction. This is a new dynamic for me, writing a gift story that isn't meant to be a secret from the recipient, and it's so fun to be able to talk with my recipients about the ideas I'm cooking.
One of the great anxieties in writing is wondering if anyone even wants to read it. Maybe the things that come out of my brain are only appealing to me, maybe they won't make sense to anyone else, maybe people will look at it and go "this is nothing, why did you waste your time?" This is anxiety talking, not reality, and I work to stay mindful of that, but the anxiety lurks and probably always will. We both get a break, me and that little monster, when I'm writing something that is specifically for someone. One particular, fully-rendered human replaces the nebulous and hostile "anyone," and I only have to please them. (And myself. Always myself, or I really am wasting my time.)
The best part is the excited back-and-forth. I go "I'm thinking of writing this!" and they go "ahhh yes that sounds amazing, I want to read it!" That exchange right there is maybe the biggest high in the whole writing process. Sometime in my twenties I realized it was dangerous: easy to stay in the fun of shared anticipation and never get around to doing any of the harder parts, like actually writing. After that I disciplined myself not to talk very much at all about my works in progress. I perhaps got a little superstitious about it: if I inadvertently collect too many "oooh that sounds so cool!" comments then I will lose steam and never finish writing the thing. Like everything that is important and difficult to control, writing is easy to develop superstitions about.
With these two projects, though, I can indulge in the fun part. I have a modest level of accountability, in the form of two nice people and a charity auction that will be very disappointed in me if I don't follow through. And over the years I've developed more ways to keep the writing coming, superstitions or no. I always try to have one or two writing projects on the stove that are just very fun, and right now these are filling the bill.